Fear and Courage by David O. Sullivan

Author:David O. Sullivan [Sullivan, David O.]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: JMS Books LLC
Published: 2018-01-12T00:00:00+00:00

Chapter 15

Jim awoke from a nightmare. He’d been fighting for his life against George, and had wanted to use Jujitsu, but his arms wouldn’t respond, hanging limp at his sides. He shook the dream from his mind because Mr. Truttle said it’s better to change mental channels than to focus on something bad.

As gently as possible, he slipped an arm over Brian, watched him sleep, and couldn’t resist running his hand through the afro. Jim’s neck hurt from when George threw him into a head lock from behind, his usual cowardly manner. Jim hadn’t told Brian or Mr. Truttle, and wondered if he could slip upstairs to get aspirin.

Suddenly, Brian’s body stiffened and his breaths came faster. He moaned something unintelligible, then groaned. “No, fuck no.” His arms trembled. “Noooo!”

Jim shook him. “Bri, wake up. Bri, it’s Jim, I’m here. Wake up, dude.”

Brian turned to face him. From the illumination of the nightlight, Jim read fear on Brian’s face. His lover held him close, worsening the pain in his neck. Brian soon went back to sleep, hugging Jim, who took deep breaths and wiggled his toes to distract himself from his neck pain.

* * * *

In the morning, Brian wouldn’t talk about the dream except to say he had been in Vietnam, shot several times but wouldn’t die, and writhed in pain. After breakfast, he watched a documentary comparing Vietnam to World War Two.

“I need to be alone.”

Jim tried to calm him. “Why don’t we lift weights or sing while you hit the guitar?”

“I said I want to be alone. Are you deaf or stoned?”

“Sure.” Deflated, Jim left and shopped at the grocery store, something he’d procrastinated doing.

A woman pushed her cart forward and eyed him. “Jim, how are you?” She touched his arm. “You remember me, right?”

“You’re Bobby Wilson’s mom. I’m okay. Have you heard from Bobby?”

“He writes like a good boy and says basic training is hard, but he’s lost some weight and gotten stronger. He wants the army to make a man out of him, and I’m so proud.” She touched his cheek. “Are you really okay?”

“Yes, why?”

She hesitated. “Oh, well, I just haven’t seen you and I worried.”

She stroked his cheek and stared into his eyes, making him nervous. “You were always such a handsome boy, Jimmy. I’m so sorry you’ve had problems.”

“Huh?”

“Well, your stepfather isn’t making things comfortable at home, is he? And Brian. I always thought he was a different sort of boy.” Her gaze sped up and down his body, and her hand rested on his. Other shoppers shot glances their way.

“Different?” Jim’s nervousness grew into annoyance.

“I heard he doesn’t like girls.”

Jim laughed and stepped back, releasing himself from her hand. “Brian’s my best friend, and that jerk in our house isn’t my stepfather and the police know about him and arrested him at least once.”

“So what girls have you dated?”

Sometimes Jim didn’t get innuendo, but sometimes he did. If she had just asked him straight out if he was gay, he’d tell her the truth.

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